We looked all over the building and could not find her. She had excused herself to go to the restroom a second time in the span of about fifteen minutes.
We were worried…so we opened the door with a master key. Imagine our shock when we saw that it was vacant. As a mom, I started to feel a little inner panic as I thought, “Where could she be?”
My anxiety increased when I finally realized she was not in the building, as her car was no longer in the church’s parking lot where she left it that morning.
Oh my, I needed to be with her, near her. She was in an extremely vulnerable state.
Question: Who is this “she”?
Answer: She is my amazing daughter.
Just moments before her disappearance, I had shared something with her that would change her life forever. I had always been a good secret keeper. And this instance proved it; because I had held on to this one for the first nineteen years of her life. I had revealed the truth to my daughter about her paternity.
After so many years of wondering when would be the right time to tell her, I knew I had to trust God and follow His lead with this.
And though God revealed to me a few months earlier and challenged and prepared me to unleash the truth, this moment still brought about much anguish.
I was responsible for turning her world upside down.
I was responsible for causing her so much emotional pain.
I was responsible for utter chaos and confusion.
Truth be told, I was not surprised by my daughter’s response, which was to try to escape that moment physically. There really is not a right or wrong way to react to such a traumatic experience. So once I discovered where my daughter was and that she was safe, I allowed her to have a moment to herself to begin processing what had just taken place.
Many had been praying for this moment for quite some time; and I needed to trust the process…regardless of how difficult it was to await the manifestation of God’s grace and perfect peace.
And though it was difficult waiting for a breakthrough…for my daughter, for me, for my family…I knew that we already had the victory from the moment God finally released me to tell her the truth.
And you will know the truth, and the truth will set you free. John 8:32 (NLT)
As painful as this experience was at the time, I knew that absolute freedom would come as a result of revealing the truth. I knew God had a plan in all of this, and my part in it was simply to trust Him.
And I did.
I wish I could say…healing came quickly.
I wish I could say…God just kissed it and made it all better.
I wish I could say…we lived happily ever after…The End.
The real truth is…for a season…
I was stripped of my title, #1 MOM.
I was demoted from my “SHERO” status.
I was the target of anger, distrust, rejection…and the list could go on and on.
Nevertheless, I held on to God’s promise in Romans 8:28 (NIV), “And we know that in all things God works for the good of those who love him, who have been called according to his purpose.”
At the time, I could not clearly see how this could turn to good, I just had to believe that it would. Today (two years later), I have an amazing relationship with my girl.
After much turmoil, she loves life. She has embraced the fact that paternity is just a technicality, but her dad is truly her dad. She knows he loves her and she loves him for who he is.
Now this took time, but God has proven Himself to be true to His word.
My truth was…my daughter felt deceived and was deeply hurt.
His truth is…He knows how to heal the broken-hearted.
My truth was…I did not know how we could overcome this.
His truth is…He is the omniscient, all-knowing God
My truth was…I messed up and was suffering the consequences.
His truth is…He can turn my mess into a message.
Through it all I realized I had fallen from a place of grace with my daughter. But God proved that His grace is sufficient, just enough for each of us.
And that’s the TRUTH…His TRUTH…which is my TRUTH!
Lord, I endeavor to live in Your truth…every single day…from this day forward. In Jesus’ Name.
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